those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
