Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
