Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
that is very illegal...i love you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
