I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
