Your face is a jimmy john
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
