she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
