if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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