I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
