She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
