You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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