Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
