I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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