After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
