you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
