you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
