I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize