well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
