Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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