Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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