Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
