Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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