It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
