When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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