Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
