I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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