I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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