Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
