Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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