He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
