I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
