I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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