Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
