What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
