Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
