Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
