im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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