what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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