No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
