Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
