My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
