Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
