He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
