if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
