I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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