fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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