I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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