I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
