yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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