Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
