Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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