I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize