Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
