The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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