she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
