Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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