is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
