My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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