You're completely useless in the revolution.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
