it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
