AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
