I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
