Your tits are I can't wait for
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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